Category Archives: Kid Snips

THE PENCIL, THE TEST, AND THE CHOCOLATE BAR

Christy: Time for your spelling test! Woohoo!
Bellatrix: [not looking impressed at all] I need a place to take my test
Christy: Well, lets clear your desk off again and put the last papers away
[clearing of desk from math]
Bellatrix: [growl] Mom! I don’t need another pencil
Christy: It rolled man, it wanted to help
Bellatrix: Sorry Mom, I’m a bit cray cray
Christy: I feel ya hon, it’s a dreary day
Bellatrix: [mumbling under breath] I wish I had some chocolate
Christy: [yoda impression] Ah yes, chocolate, learning quickly the secrets of womanhood you are.

(photo of spelling test)

Bellatrix: [facepalm] You’re so weird Mom

Christy: [grinning] “Unrepentantly” (said in test giving voice)

Bellatrix: [snort] I’m not trying to spell that

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ODD SNIPPETS

Dave: We’ve decided to start another category Christy: We’re  calling it “Kid Bits”

Dave: Because our youngest tosses out some interesting observations and zingers sometimes, lol.

Here’s the most recent…

Christy: So Bella is reading The Number Devil (great book btw)

and she sees an illustration of a whole line of numbers and is like, “Wow, look at that long number” and I was like, “Yeah you could start counting now and not stop til the day you die and you still wouldn’t be done counting because numbers go on forever”

She was pretty impressed of course and threw out some of the higher numbers she’s heard and asked if it was more than that which I confirmed. So she nods and goes back to reading. A couple minutes later I heard…. ‘You know Mom, dying happens when you relax too hard’

Dave: [facepalm]

Christy: I really don’t know where she comes up with this stuff

Dave: [shaking head and laughing] But she might be right

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MY KIDS ARE TOO LITERAL FOR THEIR OWN GOOD

I am just completely flabergasted, yet again, by one of my children.  Bellatrix wrote a poem for her class the other day and today was her turn to read it.  We of course couldn’t find it in the pile of work we didn’t file away the other day so I wrote it down from memory for her to read (it wasn’t that long) Well, she read it all right but stumbled over a couple words because I had chicken scratch going on today and then when the teacher asked if she wrote it or if Mom did my kid was like “Mom did” and well,

yes, I literally wrote it…out. for. her. 

:roll:

Of course we did in fact find her (paper she had herself written on) poem after her last class when we were shuffling papers before doing Study Island 

OMGS, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, you’ll recall that she didn’t elaborate on what she comprehended during an exam because the teacher “should have been paying attention to what the story when it was being read” [faceplam]

Oh she’s not the only one though, her brother is like that too.  I’ll never forget Stephan when he was little and he’d gotten in trouble for something and his dad was giving him a talking to and was waiting for Steph to reply but the poor kid was so nervous because he knew he’d messed up that nothing was coming out, lol.  That’s when his father looks at him and says, “Well spit it out already”

And Steph literally spit on the floor at his dad’s feet.

It took a supreme amount of effort for us to hold in the laughter that was attempting to erupt let me tell you.

😀

So two of my kids don’t get jokes or figurative speech sometimes, and it’s my fault, they get it from me. I’m not going to lie I bust out laughing one day in the middle of walking into the mall a few years ago when I finally “got” the commercial “Every Kiss Begins with Kay” Oh yeah, I for years thought to myself of course it begins with the letter K.  

So, in honor of all the other literal thinkers out there, those of us who sometimes make our families crazy I wanted to share with you more Future geniuses! – Kids who are too literal for their own good.

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IT’S DIRTY WORK

Literally.

I needed to fix a part of my garden that just wasn’t growing veg properly.

The issue? Too much peat moss

The solution? 2 bags of topsoil and a bag of cow manure compost.

Bellatrix: Why is it cow manure?

Christy: Because it didn’t come from a horse.

Bellatrix: What is it?

Christy: Poop

Bellatrix: [puts hands on hips] Seriously? That horse that was here left some and that was free, why did you buy ours?

Christy: The horse didn’t leave enough to do any good except for the grass it landed on and we live in a world where you literally pay for sh……errrr…poop.

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COLLIN

Had to take Dave into work this morning so I’d have the car to take kiddo to the dentist today. What an adventure at 6 am! The funniest part though was just before we got to his work site we heard the telling “I have to use the bathroom” from the backseat

(maybe grabbing that drink for kiddo wasn’t such a good idea when we stopped for gas)

At any rate there was no holding it according to Bella and we were in the middle of nowhere of course. We hear a little “Am I going to have to use the river to tinkle?” from the backseat that just has us shaking our heads. Maybe we shouldn’t let her watch Survivor Man?

After we assured her that she wouldn’t have to do that and wondering about the logistics for a tick because she’s fully geared out in cold weather clothes at the moment (yes even Florida gets cold in the winter) and wondering once again where she gets these ideas, Dave suggests she hold it until after he’s dropped off and we can swing by the Roo we’d passed because all they have at his work site is the porta potty.

There was no holding it according to kiddo so when we got to the site kiddo was directed to where she needed to go.

A few minutes later a much happier child comes running back to the car hollering, “I got to use the Collin!” And then we were off on our return trip. I again hear a little voice from the backseat, “Hey Mom, that Collin was pretty cool, surprisingly they just had a big hole cut out and of course there was a seat but I wonder how they empty it.”

“Collin?” I say. “What are you talking about?” To which she replied. “Mom, they named their toilet Collin, how cool is that?”

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ONLY OUR KID WOULD DO THIS

Only our kid! So the youngest (and only one under 18) she had a test with the teacher today for reading speed and comprehension and all that, she whizzes through it with no problems at all until the teacher asks her what the story she just read was about and Bellatrix was like, “Handprints” (the story was about some clay handprints some kids made in class for their mom). So the teacher asked if there was anything else and Bellatrix was like “I do not recall” [facepalm] and so the the teacher was like, “ooooookkkaaayyyy”

So then we’re done and I looked at Bella and asked why she didn’t tell her the rest of what she’d read and kiddo answered…

“She heard me read the story she should have been paying attention”

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HAPPY & SWEET NEW YEAR

Dave: Why not?

Christy: [rolling eyes] Seriously?

Dave: Yeah

Christy: Fine but I’m not driving to the store.

Dave: [pouting]

Christy: Don’t give me the eyes you know it only works for Bella, the traffic sucks today.

Dave: [hollering] Bellaaaaaaa!

Bella: [pitter pattering out] Yeah?

Dave: Give Mom the face.

Bella: [pouting and puppy eyes]

Christy: Daddy wants you to go to the store with him [grinning]

Bella: Ice Cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave: [sigh] Fine, I’ll go.

Christy: [grin] I thought so.

Dave & Christy: May your New Year be as sweet as an ice cream sundae!

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