Category Archives: Kid Snips


So we were discussing the up coming book and somehow got on to the subject of the fishes and the loaves and I proceeded to tell the story to kiddo… the after commentary though is part of why I love my crazy life, wife, and kids.

Dave: And we still do that sharing today.
Christy: In modern terms… stretching what we have… sharing… etc..

Bella’s : Soooo Jesus used coupons?


Bellatrix: Mom, I don’t think I’m as smart as I thought I was.

Christy: Ok?

Bellatrix: It’s a math problem, way they’ve got it written is not possible to solve.

Christy: Ok, well, lets look at it.

[walking back to computer]

Bellatrix: See? 5×2/3=5 doesn’t make sense I’m in the 5th grade math is easy.

Christy: Honey…that’s an S where are your glasses?

Bellatrix: Oh! Well that makes sense and I don’t know where I put my glasses.

Christy: Here’s a Mom life hack for you dear, hold down the Ctrl button and hit the + button and your text will be easier to read.

Bellatrix: Yeaahhh, I’m going to just go do this problem now.


So we’re on a rearranging spree here at the house because I ‘nest’ about once a year and so far I’ve got the living room done and most of the office which will be finished when the extra desk is moved out.  Of course I made sure our room was done last week and the only room really left to do is kiddo’s room so I sent said child forth to give it a clean (including under the bed) so that I can go in there to shift stuff around and clean the carpet to boot.  Easy peasy right? No. lol

So kiddo strolls out of the room  carrying the kitten which is part of the reason there are little toys everywhere in there as he’s very active and finds joy in anything he can get his paws on.

Now I knew something was up by the way she sauntered up next to me and waited patiently while I was paying bills on the computer.

Then she said in a lazy drawl… “Theoretically.”


Which was when the Mom alarm went off in my head ringing in a laughing way because you know you’re about to hear some s**t when your 10 year old is sauntering, patient, and obviously has some kind of debate/argument for you.  

Christy: Theoretically what?

Bellatrix: Weeeeellllllll

Christy: [laughing] Ok, let’s hear it.

Bellatrix: [huge grin on her face] Well Mom, it’s like this.

Christy: [laughsnort]

Bellatrix shot me the “really?” look and then put on her intellectual face and began tapping her chin while looking up at the ceiling which was when I knew she’d rehearsed this and was also when the kitten started swatting at her hand because he thought she was trying to play which is why the moment was interrupted so she could put the kitten down on the floor and she decided to just spit out what she wanted to say.

Bellatrix: Would you rather have a child who did everything you said and had a clean room but was super boring OR would you rather have a child that is adventurous, likes gaming, likes hanging out with you, and is fun?

Christy: Ok [tossing up hands in exasperation] why can’t I have one in the middle?  The question doesn’t seem fair.

Bellatrix: But Mom [she mocked] you yourself told me life isn’t fair.

Christy: [laughing] Go clean your room

Bellatrix: [pouting and sighing] Fine, but I’m ready to just start throwing stuff away.

Christy: Yep, that’s what it usually boils down to even for grown ups…take a bag.FacebookTwitterRedditGoogle+StumbleUponTumblr




So Bellatrix just walked out here and was like: Bellatrix: Mom Me: Yes? Bellatrix: The mouse won’t work again and it’s the new one. Me: Is the computer on? Bellatrix: [blank half awake look] Me: Because, ya know, I turned your computer off last night. Bellatrix: Wow, just, wow.


So we just got back from talking with the landlord about the not even possible (we thought) situation of a frickin cashiers check (you know those neat checks you get from your bank to pay bills that are absolutely guaranteed) being returned to him.

Now mind you kiddo was on lunch and we’d run up to get her a slush and some nachos as a treat while we were out but of course when we first attempted to swing by the office on the way back the landlord was also out to lunch, because, yeah, food.

So I waited a while and called to make sure he was there first and went on up there…Bella left her lunch sitting on her desk.

Bella (after we got back): Hey Mom, have you seen my nachos?

Me: No?

Bellatrix: Well they’re missing.

We both turn to look at the dog who is sitting there trying to look innocent.

Bellatrix: Gus, do you have something to say?

Me: [giggling]

Gus looks away and back in his version of a shrug.

Bellatrix: Gus, those were Nah Cho nachos.



So kiddo comes out to the kitchen with the standard “I’m hungry” while I was making bratwurst for dinner and so I told her that we needed something to go with it, as she’s peering in the fridge she suggests Pepperoni, lol.

I was like, “Look kid, we need something besides meat I know you’re on that kick lately with your growth spurt how about a baked potato?” To which she replied,

“I am also into dairy
…..Dairy Queen!”


Our kid is a comedian in training.


So Facebook has this thing where you can share memories of posts from whatever day you are at.  Today’s was hilarious insights and haha’s courtesy of Bellatrix and I thought I’d share.July 14, 2014 at 9:29am ·

Bella: Does Bacon have vitamins?
Me: Bacon has something even better, it has love.
Bella: Cool [munch munch munch]July 14, 2014 at 5:49pm ·

At the pizza place and Bella was gearing up to eat…
Bella: We have to name the pizza
Me: Let’s call it Fred
Bella: You’re going down Fred, I’m gonna eat you up
Me: [facepalm]



Dear Lady at Sams Club who was walking in front of us as we all trudged slowly with a shuffling gait through the receipt check line to get out.

I’m sorry my 8 yr old was walking behind you saying, “Braaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnns”

It was a really slow line and I saw you nod when she commented after that, “We’re like a line of zombies Dad!”

I wasn’t about you.

Still, I know it can be a little unnerving to have someone so close behind you say brains in a creepy voice, she didn’t mean to make you jump.

That is all.